It has been awhile since I have written. Although thousands of thoughts run through my head in any given day, I do not always make the time or muster the courage to publicly share them. Sometimes writing helps me to feel connected, but sometimes the vulnerability involved simply feels like too much.
My work with Heartworks requires that I am not only in front of a room full of women every month talking about God, illness and finding gratitude, but I am not able to hide behind small talk, bullshit or fake almost ANYTHING because I am such a blathering advocate for BEING REAL, AUTHENTIC and TRUTHFUL to this room of women.
This always leaves me needing to “walk my talk” which sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. My life is blessed with stories of death and resurrection, loss, love and hope. I consciously choose to see these themes in my own life as a way to remind me that we are not alone in any of our experiences, unless we choose not to participate in the realities of life on this planet, in which case we are often left feel desperately alone.
Summer 2012 has not brought much relief to many people and families I care about who are living with illness. But it has brought relief for Charlie and his family as he received news of a third clear brain scan last week. The day after the news, the Ames’ drove down the Jersey Shore to stay with Amy’s sister Kate. Eddie and I surprised them at a bar and drank and danced to Bruce Springsteen and laughed and cried. (Well I cried, while strongly “hugging” or “suffocating” Garrett during a phenomenal rendition of Thunder Road).
It was a night this time last year I never knew if we would have again. It was a concrete reminder to take things one day at a time…that we have no idea of what the further holds and to simply make the best of each day because we never know what is down the (Thunder) Road.”Show a little faith there’s magic in the night”