We don’t come to Heartworks to call ourselves good people. We don’t come to Heartworks to “do volunteer work” We are not just nice women in nice shoes doing nice things — We have simply tapped into a way of living that enhances our lives and brings meaning to our days.
Heartworks is not about adding stress to your life. It is about the opportunity to give, not about “another obligation.” Come when you can, give when and what you can give, and if life places you in a situation that you need to receive support from other people, receive it with as much grace as possible.
You are a part of a bigger plan that may not be all about you! We try not to rob someone else of the gift of giving because of our own pride and the discomfort that can accompany receiving.
Come as you are. Years ago we toyed with the idea of everyone coming in sweats so that it did not become a situation of “what do I wear?” (Which can be a HUGE deterrent for women.) Then we decided that if you need to shower and put on makeup, then do that, but if you need to come in your pajamas after a long day, then come in your jammies!
The idea is that we are all good enough as we are and do not need to be or look any different than we are. WE ARE ENOUGH WHEN WE ARE DRESSED, NOT DRESSED, ORGANIZED, NOT ORGANIZED, WHEN OUR HOUSES ARE CLEAN OR DIRTY AND WHEN WE ARE FITTING INTO OUR JEANS OR NOT FITTING INTO OUR JEANS.
Leave your ego at the door! The focus must stay on course. When we give to someone we have to do it in a way that is respectful of the receiver. We are always conscious of privacy issues and other people’s wants and needs that may be different than what we think they should be.
We understand that just because someone is grieving or ill it doesn’t mean that their life is an open book for us to judge. We aim at “giving and letting go.” When we give to someone, it does not give us the right to have judgment about the situation they are in. Oprah says that when she gives someone something she lets go of it to the point that if she turns around and the person pees on it she is unaffected!
We avoid, at all costs, thoughts and conversations about who made the best dinner or put together the cutest basket (ugh!). These conversations are useless, harmful and distract us from our purpose. We keep things as basic as possible, as often as possible, to help us focus on the act of giving so that we can experience a more meaningful connection with each other, God and ourselves.
Know that you matter. Know that if you make the choice to stay open to the opportunities that exists in Heartworks, and in your own life story of loss, your relationships will be enriched and you will feel less alone in this journey of life.